I knew the moment would eventually come. However, what I didn’t expect was for it to come so quickly: The moment when I’d have to let my son’s school know whether he’d be returning or not during the summer as well as for the following school year.
I knew on Friday that they’d have the form available at pickup on Monday. Sure enough, the folder of forms for each child was laid out on the front desk with a pen next to it. As I stood there, I started to complete the form-- it was easy enough, right? I checked the box for summer enrollment with ease, despite knowing that he’d only be there for roughly two weeks after the session started. The next section, however, is where I froze: This is where they asked about enrolling him for the 2018-2019 school year.
Now, my mind had been made up...we would definitely be embarking on our journey starting this summer. But when they asked me to provide his last day, this is when I realized that it was no longer “just a thought”...this was the moment where all of my plans would officially start being put into action. This was the moment that the reality of it all finally hit.
If you had asked me this time last year what my intentions were, I would have surely told you that I’d be enrolling him in the school’s private Kindergarten program. Obviously, my thought process has changed quite a bit since then and I now plan to enroll him not just in another school, but in a private school in another country! I knew that if I returned that form that there would be no turning back, as it explicitly stated that the date provided would be considered as giving my child’s two weeks. After that, he would no longer have a spot in his current school. Just the thought of this alone made my heart hurt, knowing how great they’ve been over the past three years.
I noticed the front desk administrator watching and politely waiting for me to finish, and it only made my heart beat faster. I then glanced up at the top of the form and saw that I was given until the end of March to return the form. WHEW...I had some time. I was relieved not because I think I’ll change my mind, but simply because it’ll delay me from dealing face to face with the biggest and quite honestly, the scariest life change I’ve ever made. I gently put down the pen, picked up the form and walked away. I would sit on this one for a little while.
It’s crazy how the same things invoke so much excitement can also invoke so much fear in us. However, we must remember that fear is only temporary, yet regret will last forever. Signing and submitting that form will be one of the first major steps of finally letting go of my fears and making one of my lifelong dreams come true-- the dream to live abroad. Reality is setting in, and although the thought of removing myself from what I’ve been accustomed to my whole life is a bit frightening, I also know that in the end it will all be worth it. I know that having the courage to take this chance will make me a stronger person and will give my son and I an experience that we will never regret.
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