The other day I took to Facebook to post photos and videos of my son, who was just learning to ride a bike without training wheels. In the post I had explained that the pedals were taken off of the bike to help him balance the bike first, as recommended by several people.
It wasn’t long before I received a comment from a family member asking why I’d taken the pedals off and that my son “would have learned by now if they were on.” However, even after explaining the benefits they continued to think that their way was better, because that’s how their child had learned.
Knowing when to pick my battles, I simply game the thumbs up and moved on, but the entire conversation made me think and wonder:
Why is it that some people feel that one way of doing something is better than another, or that we all HAVE to follow the same path to succeed at something?
I notice this a lot in the travel community:
People get shamed for traveling within their state or country as opposed to traveling internationally.
People get shamed for choosing to drive or take a train as opposed to flying.
People get shamed for eating at places “they could have gone to at home” as opposed to venturing out into the local neighborhoods for meals.
People get shamed for staying in resorts during their vacation as opposed to venturing out into the local neighborhoods (I admit that I’ve been guilty of this one myself).
When I made the announcement that my son and I would be moving abroad, I was on the receiving end of even more questions suggesting that there is only one way to do things:
You can’t move abroad...what about work?
What is he going to do about school?
Listen, going to work doesn’t mean slugging into an office and working for 40+ hours each week. Some people can work virtually from anywhere, whether they are working for an employer, or working for themselves as an entrepreneur or freelancer.
There are also schools located all over the world! But even then, going to a physical school is not the only way of educating a child. Some people homeschool. Some people world school. Some people choose to un-school all together and let life itself provide the education.
The point is, there is no one way to do anything.
We have to do what works best for us and our families.
We have to do what makes us feel good, at our pace, when the time is right...for us.
Just because a friend or family member or friend of a friend does something a certain way doesn’t mean that way will work for us.
And sometimes, it is absolutely necessary to change the way things were done in the past to avoid having the same outcome...it’s not always a bad thing!
So next time someone looks down on your choices or makes you feel that it is “their way or the highway”, remember there is ALWAYS an alternative.
At the end of the day the road you choose to travel is your choice and your choice alone...and you should never feel bad about it.
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